Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
August-Sept 1999, Issue 7
Live the Dream: Spiritual Exploration Through the Art of Meditating Together in Relationships
by Lisa Wallach
Ever since I first began to meditate I always enjoy doing so before I go to bed at night. I suppose other people would refer to it as a time of prayer and silent reflection and I feel it truly is. I will clear my mind and my thoughts and focus on my connection and exploration of my total self. I once lived alone and other then the sound of my calico Scarlett purring like a motor under my arm I (which I believe has aided my exploration into consciousness) I had no disturbances. Then I met Jacques and we began our relationship. Now I had a cat and a partner in my bed and boy was it different.
I would be laying there intent on my personal growth and development and wham, an arm would fall like a brick against my body. Or a cold foot would slide across the bed and nudge against me. It was driving me nuts! Oh and the worst move he makes is when he begins to move his body into a diagonal across the bed. My feet get pushed out and I find myself being edged to the point of falling out of the bed. That’s always a fun thing to experience when expanding your awareness into consciousness. I can’t tell you what a frustration and distraction this was to me and my meditation.
Yes I believe that I had these distractions for many reasons. I certainly do accept the fact that they were meant to exist in my reality but still it was driving me nuts. I immediately tried to meditate at other times in my day. I do that as a general rule but I missed the comfort of my usual routine. I love my meditation! I can’t get enough of what it offers me. I’m like a junkie looking for a fix. I gotta, gotta get me some! So when I can’t get enough, which was obviously the point here, it meant I had to look to other areas of my life. This happens from time to time in my spiritual progress.
At first when the “curtain would go down” I would feel alone and freaked out. You know, I thought I was doing so well and learning so much. Why would My Self shut me out? I was in my teens and that’s a rough enough time to begin with. Then I began to get the gist of the whole thing. It only meant that I was doing well with my expansion of self within consciousness. I had learned a lot of stuff and now I had to apply what I had learnt in the physical realm of existence.
Do you remember when your parents took the training wheels off your bicycle and promised that they wouldn’t let go of the seat as you pedaled? Of course they would let go and you would be riding along unaware that they no longer were supporting the seat but their presence followed you as you pedaled along. They were there, it was just that they stepped back a bit in order to allow you the opportunity of going out on your own. It is exactly the same with our Selves and spirits. We learn and even though were a bit scared or intimidated by our new challenge we go forward with the support and assistance of the universe. Perhaps this sounds a bit sappy but its true.
Months and months were going by and my frustrations were growing. If I can’t meditate I can’t maintain my connection to Self in the way that is most comfortable for me. Something had to be done. I tried asking him not to touch me or lay on me when we went to sleep. That was just plain silly! He would begin to pout and his eyes would grow wide and I knew that this wouldn’t work. I suggested that perhaps I have a night or two in which he would let me fall asleep untouched. It just didn’t work. Then we tried to just hold hands and lay besides one another for a bit. As soon as I was on my meditative groove he would fall asleep and roll on top of me. This was getting ridiculous. I kept on asking my Self for a way to alter this situation to a better, more creative and open choice.
One night I had an idea. I’ve always wished that I could show Jacques the gateway of light that I experience when I meditate. I believe that these colored lights that many people claim to see, myself included, are the gateway to our altered consciousness. Jacques loves to play games, his favorite is called Magic: The Gathering. He has read all my columns and other works and still he wasn’t saying much on the topic of spirituality, at least not in a personal way. I decided to entice him into meditation by using the ruse of a game. Nightly he begs and pleads and wears me down until I give in and play Magic with him. Why couldn’t he play magic with me in my different way?
We began by laying aside each other and closing our eyes. I began to explain some tricks that I use to meditate. I kept on reminding him that he shouldn’t expect to see what I see, after all we are individuals and as such we will have different perceptions and experiences. Some techniques might work very well and others might do nothing at all. All he had to do to begin was to breathe and relax. I coaxed him even further, “Turn your awareness to the tension in your face, jaw, forehead. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.” I kept on throwing out hints and tips as I urged him to continue focusing.
I was surprised to find how easy it was to talk freely and still maintain the focus of my meditation. I was in a nice comfortable place as I watched green swirls of color dance before my eyes. He began to notice some colors of his own. This was turning out to be pretty damn cool indeed. He was enjoying the experience and wanted to know what he should do next. I told him that this is the place to ask questions and receive answers. I recommend that he ask his Self for assistance in this endeavor.
When we finished he began to tell me some realizations he had experienced during the meditation. Some personal information was made available to him, which is a major point of the game. The best part of playing the game together was that we both win by allowing ourselves a deeper insight into our Selves. In this game there are no losers, all who play win.
I really enjoyed the opportunity to assist him into a meditation. If you aren’t sure how to get there on your own you can always ask a friend to give you a boost in that direction. Suggestions about relaxation and focus seem to work well. I would say something and then I would wait several minutes to allow him the time to relax and focus. If he had any questions I was there to answer him. When he had an itch I would assure him that he could scratch and then resume his meditation. It took a lot of self-imposed pressure off of the experience. Many of us run into barriers that we erect about meditation. It is okay if we move or change our positions. That doesn’t mean your not meditating properly it only means that in order to continue into deeper levels of meditation one must adjust the body to a more comfortable position in which to continue.
We’ve decided to keep at this game and I’ll let tell you know more about it as we progress. So, if you find it difficult to meditate because of time restraints and other difficulties take your spouse, friend, lover or child along with you.
See you in the cosmos!
(c)1999, Lisa Wallach. Published in the August-September 1999 Issue of the Conscious Creation Journal. http://www.consciouscreation.com (Feel free to copy this column for personal use – Please include this copyright statement.)