Category: Musings

Expectation as Goal and Gauge

I posted a response on our Conscious Creation discussion list which I thought would also be a good post in this blog….

Sue had posted this quote from Abraham (channeled by Esther Hicks): “The emotion you feel is always about the vibrational variance between where you want to be and where you are. If you’re out of balance, there are only two ways to bring yourself into alignment: Either raise your expectation to match your desire—or lower your desire to match your expectation.”

I replied:

Expecting to get what you want seems to be an indication that where you are and where you want to be are the same thing. The emotional experience of expectation feels very confident and knowing.

I think that aligning with the expectation of getting what you want can be an interesting challenge when you’ve been trained AGAINST having what you want (whatever you’ve been told you CAN’T HAVE and grew up struggling to get, or the like). After a while, you internalize the CAN’Ts and just struggle with it inside yourself, then it gets a bit harder to see because it seems like (and is) just a part of who you are at the moment. Soon, all you start to feel is negativity when you think about what you want, or stop knowing what you want altogether, instead of the good feelings or the desire/attraction itself – that does seem like one recipe for depression!

For myself, there’s been a loose process around dealing with this:

  • stop identifying with the negative emotion, in the moment, so you can really SEE it clearly for what it is and not just how things are.
  • catch the triggers that make you automatically react in that negative emotional way. Being around certain people, offhand remarks, environments, anything.
  • choose NOT to feel the negative emotions, even if you don’t know what else to feel at the moment.
  • choose to feel a different way, understanding that feeling the OLD way is NOT actually ‘natural’ even though it seems it is because you’ve been doing it so long.
  • choose to think/believe a different way, often uncovering what IS a ‘natural’ thought for you, buried under the opposite training. learn to trust yourself.
  • continue to catch triggers and use them to ‘massage’ yourself into a new perspective. Like catching yourself thinking when you’re supposed to be meditating, and just flipping back to meditation without chastising yourself or getting caught up in the drama of failure.
  • refinement on all of the above levels, repeating steps and process until you’re where you want to be.

I think our ability to align with our true desire, to expect what we want, is completely independent of any circumstances in our lives. In other words, we must choose to feel the expectation no matter what is going on around us, even if it’s the exact opposite, even while we still interact with our currently existing circumstances.  This is just another part of the process I described above. Sometimes we really WANT to be at the level of confident expectation, but we’re not yet, as it hasn’t all come together, and we can get depressed, tired of trying, tired of the ‘apparent’ lack of progress, etc. – these are just more negative emotions that we learn not to hold onto. Just let them go and return to where you want to be – sometimes that can be a struggle too.  (Another way to look at this is as a shift to being the creator of an experience/thing rather than someone who simply reacts to what has already been created.)

And how much can we REALLY expect? How much can changing our expectations really change our world, ourselves? Do we really expect to be able to eat chocolate cake and still lose weight? And what comes up for us when we decide we DO want to lose weight but also eat chocolate cake – beliefs about how our bodies work that are based on intimate self knowledge? Or based on current medical attitudes? Or based on what your mother taught you growing up? Beliefs about there being some things we can or can’t change or shouldn’t try to? And where’s that line between what we can change and what we can’t?  Who drew it there? And do we have the ability to erase that? Why or Why not?

[tags]conscious creation, reality creation, law of attraction, expectation[/tags]

What To Be

I haven’t written a post here in a long time. (Obviously!) On the outside, there was the cross-country move and adapting to all the new circumstances afterward. On the inside, there were waves of what can only be called ‘processing’ happening.

This morning, what I’m doing is thinking about this weblog, and what I’d been thinking it SHOULD be versus what it wants to be. A part of me thinks it should be full of juicy bits of advice, clever one-liners that are easy to pass around to inspire, deeply considered advice, and amazing stories of conscious creation gone wild – LOL. The Conscious Creation site itself is essentially a place to read about the basic concepts and how to start implementing them, so all of that information is already there, as well as in the archives for our old email list, which still exists and is readable/browsable, but is pretty much in stasis.

I think what I need to do is just forget all the SHOULDS and tune into my inner self and see what I WANT to post. I don’t know if it will seem boring, or disjointed, or repetitious or be a surprisingly interesting read. Or none of the above. Perhaps the little pieces will eventually illuminate a larger picture – I don’t really know. I suppose if I keep this up, eventually I’ll find out. 😉

[tags]conscious creation[/tags]

Things Falling Together – Finally!

After a long time of clearing out the old, focusing on the new, and letting the universe guide us towards the best outcome, we’re moving finally! We wanted to move to Upstate New York to be closer to both of our families, but for a long time it seemed the energy was just stuck and no opportunities were presenting themselves. It’s really tough to be in that kind of place, when it’s an energy-level thing and trying to PUSH things along doesn’t help. But now, we can finally see the road ahead.

We found a great little place to live thanks to Craig’s List, and will be driving cross country with a car and a moving van, starting on Tuesday! I like to think this is the beginning of a new phase in our lives – sure feels like it. I seem to be discarding all the old thoughts I wrestled with for so long in favor of the newer, more elegant ones, and easily, with no consternation or mental tension.

Also, we’re moving out of a converted county schoolhouse and into a cottage that was used just for a vacation rental until now – I like that symbology! We could USE a vacation after all those hard lessons we’ve had out here!

Here’s to a smooth trip and a happy destination!

[tags]moving, upstate new york, conscious creation, thoughts[/tags]

Stepping Off The Map

The concepts of conscious creation are pretty simple, in theory. (Note: ‘Simple’ does not necessarily mean the same thing as ‘easy’.) Most websites and books that discuss it cover the same basic ideas, including our website too. I do, however, think that the functional, practical application of these concepts in our everyday lives often reveals a LOT more about the process than is readily evident in the general theory. And of course, it reveals a lot more about ourselves.

In my opinion, after you integrate the basic concepts and any useful techniques or processes, you eventually have to step off the end of the known world and have to learn how to create your own map, often step by tenuous step. It goes beyond the momentum derived from the initial excitement of discovery of reality creation principles and initial successful applications, and into…. what? In my own experience, it gets grittier and less polished. It gets repetitive, necessarily lonely or singular, and disheartening at times too. It requires tenacity. It mixes hits and misses and we’re left to sort out why this worked and this didn’t this time, but not the next. And it becomes less and less about technique and more and more about being and who we are at a fundamental level. At this point, while occasional reminders of the principles won’t hurt, they don’t necessarily add anything to your understanding of the journey itself.

My point in writing this is just to say that I’m really looking forward to seeing this next phase of conscious creation begin to be expressed more often as people continue to share their own experiences with stepping off the map. From my own perspective, it seems like the kind of thing that might require a sense of completion before you can effectively write about the whole journey. Maybe it has to be relayed in more of a holographic manner. Whenever I’ve tried to capture certain aspects in words before completion, it has sounded just like stuff I’d already written before – nothing new to see – keep moving along.

Now, I know this is sort of an inconclusive post unto itself, and might not be very satisfying, but in that case, my point has been expressed in a few ways here as well – LOL!

[tags]conscious creation, reality creation, metaphysics, the secret, law of attraction, enlightenment, consciousness[/tags]

Catching Those Subtle Thoughts

For some reason it always surprises me when I become aware of a thought I’ve been thinking that had been flying just under the radar of my consciousness.  Something I’ve let run through my brain unconsciously for so many years I just stopped seeing it.  They seem to show up when I’m intent on moving beyond them – the feel of the new thought or vibe I’m reaching for suddenly highlights the old unconscious thought in a sharp contrast. I probably wouldn’t even notice those old thoughts if I wasn’t pushing myself to change. And if I wasn’t now able to catch the icky or negative/limiting vibe that these old thoughts were still broadcasting. New vibe? Feels good, open, promising. Old vibe? Feels restrictive, annoying, like a shirt made for someone else.

What sometimes helps me dig these old thoughts up more completely is pretending that I’m already experiencing the situation that I’m reaching for, or just about to. If I find it hard to inhabit that new vibe fully, I start asking myself why. How do I feel in this new situation when I picture myself with my family? When I’m working? When I’m at the store? What do I feel other people are thinking about me in this new situation? (This is, of course, never about what other people would really be thinking, but what I’m PROJECTING onto them.)

After I finally SEE the old thought/belief, it feels like it’s all suddenly just layed out on the table in front of me and I can sweep the old ones into the trash can – what a relief! And… onward into the new vibe with no anchors, weights, or hooks holding me down.

Anyway, it always sounds weird to me when I try to write down these internal processes – like describing to someone how you choose which kind of soup you want in a restaurant – fascinating reading – LOL!!

[tags]conscious creation, belief, law of attraction, reality creation, thought, awareness, consciousness[/tags]